If I Could Read Your Mind
My head is battling with my heart, and logic has indeed been torn apart. It's been awhile since I've had the house to myself. Just as well. I need to think.
I walked into the familiar neighbourhood; past the coffeeshop where we dined many a time; down the corridor towards your apartment; talking in your room as the day succumbs to the night... Nothing seems to have changed, except that the contented happiness I used to feel has been replaced by one that's tinged by subtle pain.
Yet when I finally steeled my heart, you say and do things I'd been wishing and hoping for so long you would. Those words; the handphone profile; that proximity... I'd have killed for those 2 weeks ago, but have they come too late?
Dining with the young kids; holding their hands for fear they'll fall; laughing at their naive humour; sitting in your dad's car.. Everything is so comfortably familiar; familiarity that has taken more than a year to build.
Am I ready to walk away from it all into the great unknown?
Staying put will pull me deeper into the sea of self-denial, that will hurt me each time realisation is shoved into my face. Do I want emancipation, or that security?
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