Slow Dancing On The Boulevard
"For all you know, this could be, the difference between what you need, and what you wanna be."
I think it's scary - our abrupt absence from each other's lives, and how it has become so easy for me.
I don't even wanna consider the possibility that we haven't been in love for awhile, but it is hanging out there.
Some things never change. I am still taking the lead, even in these heart-to-heart talks we're having now.
I'm tired of wearing the pants.
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Achey Sides
Achey Sides
I can't believe my sides are aching already, from alternate nights of laughing attacks. Time to build up that resistance babe, lol.
This entry is totally redundant.
I can't believe my sides are aching already, from alternate nights of laughing attacks. Time to build up that resistance babe, lol.
This entry is totally redundant.
Angst, Laughter and Pineapple Tarts
Angst, Laughter and Pineapple Tarts
My auntie makes the best pineapple tarts. Each bite sends me to paradise. I like the pineapple to be a bit chewy, abit jam-like in texture. I am biting into my millionth tart now. Sinful sinful, but definitely worth every pounding step I'd have to pay on the treadmill.
An extract from my conversation with Justin last night. We were talking about our O'levels Chinese Aural exam.
Him: After distinction is what ah?
Me: Merit izzit?
Him: Oh, I got merit.
Me: Congratulations.
Do you guys get the joke? I took his "merit" as "married", lol! I am so proud of that.
Anyway, he's now telling me he looks like a terrorist in the No Smooching picture. I am an excellent photographer am I not, considering that I am able to capture the closet terrorist in him? (See for yourselves. Scroll down two entries.)
I've met my match in lamelogy! Another extract from our present msn conversation. (I was telling him to get his whole soccer team to apply tanning oil as a pre-game ritual.)
Him: So sissy.. haha.
Me: No la, metrosexuals the "in" thing now what.
Me: I don't quite fancy metros.
Him: Well, some girls like guys to be metro mah.
Him: You probably prefer OG guys.
Get it? OG? Metro? The departmental stores. Haha.
I wish I hadn't procrastinated my hmm, intimate shopping. Jostling with crowds make me cranky. Cramped dressing rooms that make one feel claustrophobic, display areas cluttered with half-unpacked boxes, all the pushing and shoving.. It was enough to make me feel bad enough to go for a haircut! Haha. Anyway, my hair's short now. Not short short, but short. Hmm. Not as long as before, DUH? Hahah. I gave up attempting to take a picture.
I replenished my supply of Fruit Fusions shampoo and Kenzo fragrance too. :) Bought the pink shampoo instead of my usual orange. Maybe my babes will stop telling me I smell berry-ish. Maybe it'll be passion-fruitish this time around, haha.
For the past week, there's been an old lady squatting by the big old house, a plastic bag of tissues in front of her, her eyes closed like she's asleep. My heart squeezes a little each time I pass her by on my way out, and each day, I tell myself I'd do something about it, but I haven't. I don't wish to give her money, for fear she'd scrimp and save and not buy herself a proper meal; and I'd very much rather buy her some food, but I'm afraid she might not be able to eat what I buy.
When I see her tomorrow or Tuesday, I am going to squat down in front of her and put a note into her hand. That's my resolution.
Time to polish up my resumes, and practise using serving gear. I have a feeling Saffron's gonna be full of falling breadrolls tomorrow! I am feeling so sleepy. My 45-minute nap sucked.
My auntie makes the best pineapple tarts. Each bite sends me to paradise. I like the pineapple to be a bit chewy, abit jam-like in texture. I am biting into my millionth tart now. Sinful sinful, but definitely worth every pounding step I'd have to pay on the treadmill.
An extract from my conversation with Justin last night. We were talking about our O'levels Chinese Aural exam.
Him: After distinction is what ah?
Me: Merit izzit?
Him: Oh, I got merit.
Me: Congratulations.
Do you guys get the joke? I took his "merit" as "married", lol! I am so proud of that.
Anyway, he's now telling me he looks like a terrorist in the No Smooching picture. I am an excellent photographer am I not, considering that I am able to capture the closet terrorist in him? (See for yourselves. Scroll down two entries.)
I've met my match in lamelogy! Another extract from our present msn conversation. (I was telling him to get his whole soccer team to apply tanning oil as a pre-game ritual.)
Him: So sissy.. haha.
Me: No la, metrosexuals the "in" thing now what.
Me: I don't quite fancy metros.
Him: Well, some girls like guys to be metro mah.
Him: You probably prefer OG guys.
Get it? OG? Metro? The departmental stores. Haha.
I wish I hadn't procrastinated my hmm, intimate shopping. Jostling with crowds make me cranky. Cramped dressing rooms that make one feel claustrophobic, display areas cluttered with half-unpacked boxes, all the pushing and shoving.. It was enough to make me feel bad enough to go for a haircut! Haha. Anyway, my hair's short now. Not short short, but short. Hmm. Not as long as before, DUH? Hahah. I gave up attempting to take a picture.
I replenished my supply of Fruit Fusions shampoo and Kenzo fragrance too. :) Bought the pink shampoo instead of my usual orange. Maybe my babes will stop telling me I smell berry-ish. Maybe it'll be passion-fruitish this time around, haha.
For the past week, there's been an old lady squatting by the big old house, a plastic bag of tissues in front of her, her eyes closed like she's asleep. My heart squeezes a little each time I pass her by on my way out, and each day, I tell myself I'd do something about it, but I haven't. I don't wish to give her money, for fear she'd scrimp and save and not buy herself a proper meal; and I'd very much rather buy her some food, but I'm afraid she might not be able to eat what I buy.
When I see her tomorrow or Tuesday, I am going to squat down in front of her and put a note into her hand. That's my resolution.
Time to polish up my resumes, and practise using serving gear. I have a feeling Saffron's gonna be full of falling breadrolls tomorrow! I am feeling so sleepy. My 45-minute nap sucked.
All My Guesses Add Up To A Whole Lot Of Nothing
All My Guesses Add Up To A Whole Lot Of Nothing
My supposedly lost beaching pictures have miraculously materialized in my memory card. Scroll down for the photos, as well as some interesting shots of China Square.
It has been an eventful week - experienced many first-times, lol.
The beach in the day exudes a sunny vibrance, but at nightfall, it is a seductive cocktail of calm and allure. The sand was soft, and the tides were low. The sultry sea breeze; the lapping of the waves against the shore; and the warm golden light from pathway lamps made it a perfect escapism from urban life. Lying on the sand, doing nothing but watching the twinkling stars sprinkled across the darkened sky was food for the soul.
A picture of serenity, not! The quiet night was disrupted by my laughing fits. It all started with sos' reaction when I tried to bury his feet in the sand. That silly guy thought my hand was a crab, lol! I was extremely tickled. My "machine-gun" laughter was something that had been missing in my life for a long while, and it was extremely liberating. :)
Last night (Friday) was my virgin clubbing experience, and all 14 of us (me, Jane, Marc, Brian, Fagan, Shaun, Trevor, Jeremy, Chynna, Joseph, Cheryl, Joanna, Kerrie and Angie) partied at Zouk! Clubbing wasn't as complicated as people described it to be, and it was actually pretty fun; despite the fact that I was extremely self-conscious on the dance floor. It was quite an eye-opener too, seeing how liberal clubbers can be. I am not a newly converted crazy clubber, but my skepticism for the activity has certainly diminished. It is something fun to do once in a while, though the after-clubbing supper at Lau Pa Sat was more my cup of tea. :D
I've been up since 830 this morning for project meetings, surviving on merely four hours of sleep. I am so bent on maximizing my last late night of the term break, haha. Went around Parkway for the first time with sos in the late afternoon today, and I had my first Rotiboy bun. It is delicious. Crusty yet soft, it was a melt in the mouth delight.
Met up with Justin in the evening, and down we headed towards China Square. We wanted to change our plans and visit Robertson Quay instead, but we couldn't find a bus that'd bring us there. Dinner was at Vil'age Restaurant, something almost 99% identical to Marche. Like the name suggests, Vil'age is "The Restaurant in a Village". The ambience was wonderful - the decor and music made us feel like we were dining in an Italian courtyard. There were funky signs around too, like the "No Smooching Before Meals" one I snapped. (Scroll down for pictures.) Justin definitely shares my twisted sense of lame humour - we were just making each other laugh non-stop throughout the entire meal. Anymore and he'd have potatoes shooting out of his ears and nostrils, lol. We chanced upon line-dancing and Chinese opera performances, as well as a roadside flea market. Wonderful. I had so much fun.
A week of enjoyment will soon have to end, as deadlines draw near. I hate to have to go to bed. Theme week's on Monday. Eck.
*I wanna tell you the weather is fine/When the night comes around you are on my mind/And I wish you were here with me//I really miss you/Yes I do yeah/I really miss you/I miss you//
I am suffering from BITCH withdrawals. I miss you so much babe, and I am so sorry for my schedule. I can't wait till I get through next week: I'll be yours then, lol!
My supposedly lost beaching pictures have miraculously materialized in my memory card. Scroll down for the photos, as well as some interesting shots of China Square.
It has been an eventful week - experienced many first-times, lol.
The beach in the day exudes a sunny vibrance, but at nightfall, it is a seductive cocktail of calm and allure. The sand was soft, and the tides were low. The sultry sea breeze; the lapping of the waves against the shore; and the warm golden light from pathway lamps made it a perfect escapism from urban life. Lying on the sand, doing nothing but watching the twinkling stars sprinkled across the darkened sky was food for the soul.
A picture of serenity, not! The quiet night was disrupted by my laughing fits. It all started with sos' reaction when I tried to bury his feet in the sand. That silly guy thought my hand was a crab, lol! I was extremely tickled. My "machine-gun" laughter was something that had been missing in my life for a long while, and it was extremely liberating. :)
Last night (Friday) was my virgin clubbing experience, and all 14 of us (me, Jane, Marc, Brian, Fagan, Shaun, Trevor, Jeremy, Chynna, Joseph, Cheryl, Joanna, Kerrie and Angie) partied at Zouk! Clubbing wasn't as complicated as people described it to be, and it was actually pretty fun; despite the fact that I was extremely self-conscious on the dance floor. It was quite an eye-opener too, seeing how liberal clubbers can be. I am not a newly converted crazy clubber, but my skepticism for the activity has certainly diminished. It is something fun to do once in a while, though the after-clubbing supper at Lau Pa Sat was more my cup of tea. :D
I've been up since 830 this morning for project meetings, surviving on merely four hours of sleep. I am so bent on maximizing my last late night of the term break, haha. Went around Parkway for the first time with sos in the late afternoon today, and I had my first Rotiboy bun. It is delicious. Crusty yet soft, it was a melt in the mouth delight.
Met up with Justin in the evening, and down we headed towards China Square. We wanted to change our plans and visit Robertson Quay instead, but we couldn't find a bus that'd bring us there. Dinner was at Vil'age Restaurant, something almost 99% identical to Marche. Like the name suggests, Vil'age is "The Restaurant in a Village". The ambience was wonderful - the decor and music made us feel like we were dining in an Italian courtyard. There were funky signs around too, like the "No Smooching Before Meals" one I snapped. (Scroll down for pictures.) Justin definitely shares my twisted sense of lame humour - we were just making each other laugh non-stop throughout the entire meal. Anymore and he'd have potatoes shooting out of his ears and nostrils, lol. We chanced upon line-dancing and Chinese opera performances, as well as a roadside flea market. Wonderful. I had so much fun.
A week of enjoyment will soon have to end, as deadlines draw near. I hate to have to go to bed. Theme week's on Monday. Eck.
*I wanna tell you the weather is fine/When the night comes around you are on my mind/And I wish you were here with me//I really miss you/Yes I do yeah/I really miss you/I miss you//
I am suffering from BITCH withdrawals. I miss you so much babe, and I am so sorry for my schedule. I can't wait till I get through next week: I'll be yours then, lol!
Eateries at China Square
Eateries at China Square
Originally uploaded by sarongskirts.
I blurred the picture on purpose (yeah right.)
Table at Vil'age
Table at Vil'age
Originally uploaded by sarongskirts.
Doesn't it look like some country cafe in the afternoon? It's a table in Vil'age!
Justin - No Smooching Before Meals
Justin - No Smooching Before Meals
Originally uploaded by sarongskirts.
My camera hates Justin. It took me ages and try after try to get a proper shot of him. I love the funky sign.
Vil'age 'Vineyard': Shot 2
Vil'age 'Vineyard' 2
Originally uploaded by sarongskirts.
I love this picture. Looks like an Italian courtyard of sorts.
Vil'age 'Vineyard'
Vil'age 'Vineyard'
Originally uploaded by sarongskirts.
Made us feel like we were in Italy. Justin half-expected a fat Italian lady to come out of nowhere and start singing. Lol.
Friday, January 28, 2005
Sea Breeze
Orange Moon
The salty air never fails to lull me to sleep.
Just got off the phone with Jane. Think i was mumbling nonsense though. I'm sleepy.
Ah. I've got great friends.
Me: You going?
Marc: Who else is gonna carry you out when you're drunk?
Marc: Don't worry babe. When I'm there, you ain't the fool.
So sweet. :)
I'm too tired for a proper update. Maybe tomorrow. Got a workout with Marc at 930 tomorrow. Better crash.
The salty air never fails to lull me to sleep.
Just got off the phone with Jane. Think i was mumbling nonsense though. I'm sleepy.
Ah. I've got great friends.
Me: You going?
Marc: Who else is gonna carry you out when you're drunk?
Marc: Don't worry babe. When I'm there, you ain't the fool.
So sweet. :)
I'm too tired for a proper update. Maybe tomorrow. Got a workout with Marc at 930 tomorrow. Better crash.
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Summer Vacation: Scroll Down For Pictures!
Summer Vacation: Scroll Down For Pictures!
I feel like I'm on a summer break - I've been to the beach thrice in less than a week! Yes, I am making full use of the recent great weather. The skies are so clear, it's unbelievable that it was still the rainy season just a week or two ago. My skin's burnt, my face's red and peeling, but I am feeling so good. :)
I've got poloroids from Thursday's beach trip with my babes; digital pictures lost in my cranky memory card of Sunday's outing with my two "hunky" neighbours; and I've uploaded some from today's visit with Brian and his friends. I've got a gorgeous picture of Brian and I on the bus, but it's in my camera phone, and un-uploadable. I'm not even gonna try explaining the complexities of my handphone, lol.
I picked up several shells washed onto shore today. I used to do that alot when I was a kid, over at Changi especially. I wonder if I'll ever have the luck to pick up a turquoise shell on shore. That'd be really really pretty. Almost like finding a four-leaf clover I would say.
I was enjoying myself today, laughing so hard at Lester's antics. He's my walking jester, lol.
I can't quite believe my arms are bruised from playing volleyball. Weakling. Sigh. But it was fun though; made me feel like I was over at an overseas beach resort. :)
*I still go weak in the knees whenever I listen to Jason Wade's rendition of You Belong To Me. Those slightly husky vocals are so so so seductive.
I am quite a scatter-brain of late. I left the house for a meeting yesterday, completely forgetting that I was to have my piano lesson until my teacher called from outside my door. Thank god she wasn't pissed. I feel unprepared for my Grade 8 exam actually. We'll see.
I'd better get some sleep. I've got a make-up lesson at 930 tomorrow. Good night world.
*The flames of passion have died, but in its place is a comfortable warmth, knowing that nobody knows me like you do. I love you as a best friend, more than anything else. That was my realisation tonight, as I hooked my arm through yours, just like the old times. :)
I feel like I'm on a summer break - I've been to the beach thrice in less than a week! Yes, I am making full use of the recent great weather. The skies are so clear, it's unbelievable that it was still the rainy season just a week or two ago. My skin's burnt, my face's red and peeling, but I am feeling so good. :)
I've got poloroids from Thursday's beach trip with my babes; digital pictures lost in my cranky memory card of Sunday's outing with my two "hunky" neighbours; and I've uploaded some from today's visit with Brian and his friends. I've got a gorgeous picture of Brian and I on the bus, but it's in my camera phone, and un-uploadable. I'm not even gonna try explaining the complexities of my handphone, lol.
I picked up several shells washed onto shore today. I used to do that alot when I was a kid, over at Changi especially. I wonder if I'll ever have the luck to pick up a turquoise shell on shore. That'd be really really pretty. Almost like finding a four-leaf clover I would say.
I was enjoying myself today, laughing so hard at Lester's antics. He's my walking jester, lol.
I can't quite believe my arms are bruised from playing volleyball. Weakling. Sigh. But it was fun though; made me feel like I was over at an overseas beach resort. :)
*I still go weak in the knees whenever I listen to Jason Wade's rendition of You Belong To Me. Those slightly husky vocals are so so so seductive.
I am quite a scatter-brain of late. I left the house for a meeting yesterday, completely forgetting that I was to have my piano lesson until my teacher called from outside my door. Thank god she wasn't pissed. I feel unprepared for my Grade 8 exam actually. We'll see.
I'd better get some sleep. I've got a make-up lesson at 930 tomorrow. Good night world.
*The flames of passion have died, but in its place is a comfortable warmth, knowing that nobody knows me like you do. I love you as a best friend, more than anything else. That was my realisation tonight, as I hooked my arm through yours, just like the old times. :)
Happy me with my yellow daisy
Happy me with my yellow daisy
Originally uploaded by sarongskirts.
The daisy that sneaky SOS and Brian surprised me with! :)
Lester and half of me
Lester and half of me
Originally uploaded by sarongskirts.
I am always cutting my face in half. And what's with Lester's expression? Lol.
Fountain Symphony
Fountain Symphony
Originally uploaded by sarongskirts.
A beautiful fountain for company as we waited for the beach ride.
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Reality Check
Reality Check
I've got good news. I entered a creative writing competition organised by SP last year, and just a few days ago, I received a $50 cheque! I never did get selected for the top three places, but the fact that "The Clairvoyant" got a consolation prize was good enough for me.
I've been around so many friends, I barely had time to think. But as I was reading your resume, the realisation hit me straight in the gut. For several moments, I was winded, and everything else just seemed to fade away, as memories consumed me. Those moments soon passed, and life went on. But when you carressed my face at our chance encounter, that familiar gesture stirred my soul. It helps I guess, that we can talk to each other about this. Together, we'll move on.
I haven't been able to sleep till at least one the past few days, and I've had to wake up early in the mornings. Just look at my eye rings. S-c-a-r-y. What kinda term break is this? Lol. A realistic one.
I've got good news. I entered a creative writing competition organised by SP last year, and just a few days ago, I received a $50 cheque! I never did get selected for the top three places, but the fact that "The Clairvoyant" got a consolation prize was good enough for me.
I've been around so many friends, I barely had time to think. But as I was reading your resume, the realisation hit me straight in the gut. For several moments, I was winded, and everything else just seemed to fade away, as memories consumed me. Those moments soon passed, and life went on. But when you carressed my face at our chance encounter, that familiar gesture stirred my soul. It helps I guess, that we can talk to each other about this. Together, we'll move on.
I haven't been able to sleep till at least one the past few days, and I've had to wake up early in the mornings. Just look at my eye rings. S-c-a-r-y. What kinda term break is this? Lol. A realistic one.
Monday, January 24, 2005
I Haven't Figured It Out, Not Yet, Not Specifically
I Haven't Figured It Out, Not Yet, Not Specifically
It struck me, just as we were strolling past Marriot, that this is the 2nd time I've hung out with Jane outside of school, ever since we've known each other in Year 1 sem 1. Man. Time to change that babe! It was fun though, as usual, haha.
Finally met up with Jemo after ages. Gymming was good, and so was the company. Two girls at the gym struck up a conversation with me in the shower room, asking me how to lose flab and tone up. Interesting. I feel proud. Hahaha.
I'm beginning to breathe a little. MEIT is finally on the way. I hope I'd be able to complete everything before our meeting on Thursday.
Tomorrow's resume and cover letter day. Some of my friends have started going for interviews. Scary.
I wish my computer wasn't screwed, then I'd be able to post up pictures of my yellow daisy. It made me so happy, I gave both guys a smackeroo each. And we had the most delicious desserts at Bakerzin - Sumatra and the Warm Chocolate Cake. Each bite was a rocket-ride to paradise. I'm so happy I couldn't stop smiling for half an hour I think! =D
Hmm. Beaching pictures from yesterday are somehow lost in the abyss of my digicam's memory card.
It totally slipped my mind that I've got an Open-house meeting at 10am tomorrow. I need sleep. Night world.
It struck me, just as we were strolling past Marriot, that this is the 2nd time I've hung out with Jane outside of school, ever since we've known each other in Year 1 sem 1. Man. Time to change that babe! It was fun though, as usual, haha.
Finally met up with Jemo after ages. Gymming was good, and so was the company. Two girls at the gym struck up a conversation with me in the shower room, asking me how to lose flab and tone up. Interesting. I feel proud. Hahaha.
I'm beginning to breathe a little. MEIT is finally on the way. I hope I'd be able to complete everything before our meeting on Thursday.
Tomorrow's resume and cover letter day. Some of my friends have started going for interviews. Scary.
I wish my computer wasn't screwed, then I'd be able to post up pictures of my yellow daisy. It made me so happy, I gave both guys a smackeroo each. And we had the most delicious desserts at Bakerzin - Sumatra and the Warm Chocolate Cake. Each bite was a rocket-ride to paradise. I'm so happy I couldn't stop smiling for half an hour I think! =D
Hmm. Beaching pictures from yesterday are somehow lost in the abyss of my digicam's memory card.
It totally slipped my mind that I've got an Open-house meeting at 10am tomorrow. I need sleep. Night world.
Sometimes When We Touch
Sometimes When We Touch
You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Till we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Till we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly
At times I understand you
And I see how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by
At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Till we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
It's so easy to make someone, and so easy to break someone. It's one thing to know my heart's hurting, and another to know that you're hurting as well. It's so easy to want to run to you, back to the arms of security, to over-ride the pain we're going through; but it's time to accept the reality that the special connection we once shared has been faded by weariness.
The song speaks for itself.
You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Till we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Till we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly
At times I understand you
And I see how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by
At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Till we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides
It's so easy to make someone, and so easy to break someone. It's one thing to know my heart's hurting, and another to know that you're hurting as well. It's so easy to want to run to you, back to the arms of security, to over-ride the pain we're going through; but it's time to accept the reality that the special connection we once shared has been faded by weariness.
The song speaks for itself.
Sunday, January 23, 2005
S.T.U.M.P.E.D
S.T.U.M.P.E.D
Dare I say it was a success? Well, there were inevitable hiccups, but I think it came close, judging from my personal standards. Yeah yeah I'm bragging, but I can't help it! We've worked so hard! I don't even wanna describe how ecstatic I was when the project was over. My IG dinner kakis will know. Whew. I can now breathe easy. :)
Late Tuesday - Everything Means Nothing
At the drop of a hat I would say yes to your questions
And I would figure a way out to be your friend
And not only that I would love to hear your stories always
Hear your laughter from the phone line's other end
It's simply marvellous what I know of you enough
The things I've heard I like it that much more
And time with you makes my heart grow fonder
But there's just one small thing that I'm not sure
What are you thinking of me?
I haven't figured it out, not yet, not specifically.
And everything means nothing
Till you put into your words
What you are thinking
What you think of me.
And I should make more guesses in the way you make me laugh
As to your intentions with me, with me
All my guesses add up to a whole lot of nothing
So I'll wait, I'll wait, for you to divulge, tell me
What are you thinking of me?
I haven't figured it out, not yet, not specifically.
And everything means nothing
Till you put into your words
What you are thinking
What you think of me.
That is my terrible interpretation of the lyrics to another of my favourite songs. The closest I can get. Been trying but to no avail to get the lyrics online.
I'm exhausted, honestly. Almost fell asleep while watching Shall We Dance. When Richard Gere walked along the streets towards the subway, I had this immense urge to be where he was, to just explore the place. It'd be wonderful if there's someone to share it with, but right now, my heart's content on its own.
It melted though, when Richard Gere came up the escalator holding a single red rose for his wife. Love really is simple. A single stalk can make way more impact than a huge bouquet.
And I knew at that exact moment that I had made the right decision, and reality sunk in. My moment of weakness has passed. :)
Dare I say it was a success? Well, there were inevitable hiccups, but I think it came close, judging from my personal standards. Yeah yeah I'm bragging, but I can't help it! We've worked so hard! I don't even wanna describe how ecstatic I was when the project was over. My IG dinner kakis will know. Whew. I can now breathe easy. :)
Late Tuesday - Everything Means Nothing
At the drop of a hat I would say yes to your questions
And I would figure a way out to be your friend
And not only that I would love to hear your stories always
Hear your laughter from the phone line's other end
It's simply marvellous what I know of you enough
The things I've heard I like it that much more
And time with you makes my heart grow fonder
But there's just one small thing that I'm not sure
What are you thinking of me?
I haven't figured it out, not yet, not specifically.
And everything means nothing
Till you put into your words
What you are thinking
What you think of me.
And I should make more guesses in the way you make me laugh
As to your intentions with me, with me
All my guesses add up to a whole lot of nothing
So I'll wait, I'll wait, for you to divulge, tell me
What are you thinking of me?
I haven't figured it out, not yet, not specifically.
And everything means nothing
Till you put into your words
What you are thinking
What you think of me.
That is my terrible interpretation of the lyrics to another of my favourite songs. The closest I can get. Been trying but to no avail to get the lyrics online.
I'm exhausted, honestly. Almost fell asleep while watching Shall We Dance. When Richard Gere walked along the streets towards the subway, I had this immense urge to be where he was, to just explore the place. It'd be wonderful if there's someone to share it with, but right now, my heart's content on its own.
It melted though, when Richard Gere came up the escalator holding a single red rose for his wife. Love really is simple. A single stalk can make way more impact than a huge bouquet.
And I knew at that exact moment that I had made the right decision, and reality sunk in. My moment of weakness has passed. :)
Friday, January 21, 2005
If I Could Read Your Mind
If I Could Read Your Mind
My head is battling with my heart, and logic has indeed been torn apart. It's been awhile since I've had the house to myself. Just as well. I need to think.
I walked into the familiar neighbourhood; past the coffeeshop where we dined many a time; down the corridor towards your apartment; talking in your room as the day succumbs to the night... Nothing seems to have changed, except that the contented happiness I used to feel has been replaced by one that's tinged by subtle pain.
Yet when I finally steeled my heart, you say and do things I'd been wishing and hoping for so long you would. Those words; the handphone profile; that proximity... I'd have killed for those 2 weeks ago, but have they come too late?
Dining with the young kids; holding their hands for fear they'll fall; laughing at their naive humour; sitting in your dad's car.. Everything is so comfortably familiar; familiarity that has taken more than a year to build.
Am I ready to walk away from it all into the great unknown?
Staying put will pull me deeper into the sea of self-denial, that will hurt me each time realisation is shoved into my face. Do I want emancipation, or that security?
My head is battling with my heart, and logic has indeed been torn apart. It's been awhile since I've had the house to myself. Just as well. I need to think.
I walked into the familiar neighbourhood; past the coffeeshop where we dined many a time; down the corridor towards your apartment; talking in your room as the day succumbs to the night... Nothing seems to have changed, except that the contented happiness I used to feel has been replaced by one that's tinged by subtle pain.
Yet when I finally steeled my heart, you say and do things I'd been wishing and hoping for so long you would. Those words; the handphone profile; that proximity... I'd have killed for those 2 weeks ago, but have they come too late?
Dining with the young kids; holding their hands for fear they'll fall; laughing at their naive humour; sitting in your dad's car.. Everything is so comfortably familiar; familiarity that has taken more than a year to build.
Am I ready to walk away from it all into the great unknown?
Staying put will pull me deeper into the sea of self-denial, that will hurt me each time realisation is shoved into my face. Do I want emancipation, or that security?
Sun, Shopping & Friends
Bic Runga - Sway
Don't stray, don't ever go away
I should be much too smart for this
You know it gets the better of me
Sometimes, when you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you, pull me out in time
Don't let me drown, let me down
I say it's all because of you
And here I go, losing my control
I'm practising your name so I can say it to your face
It doesn't seem right, to look you in the eye
Let all the things you mean to me
Come tumbling out my mouth
Indeed it's time to tell you whyI say it's infintely true
Say you'll stay, don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way, yeah I need to know
All about you
And there's no cure, and no way to be sure
Why everything's turned inside out
Instilling so much doubt
It makes me so tired - I feel so uninspired
My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart
And now it all turns sour
Come sweeten every afternoon
Say you'll stay, don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way, yeah I need to know
All about you
It's all because of you
It's all because of you
It's all because of you
That is definitely one of my all-time favourite songs. Dig the tune and the lyrics. Yum.
Today was one hell of a sunny day. -grins- My babes (JH & Mich) and I weren't that bad, as compared to the many lobsters we saw walking around town. The good ol' feeling of beaching feels fantastic. And my tanning khaki is finally coming back from San Francisco! Hope she hasn't gotten conned into the whitening fad or anything over there.
I think I'm almost done with my New Year shopping. Almost. Island Shop sale sounds so so so enticing.
Are shoe salespeople especially cute at this time of the year? I was so tickled by the one at Fila, I had to try so hard to control my laughter when sos was trying on his shoes. Lol.
Jemo has finally drilled some sense into me, with a simple, "this sounds so not like the leigh I know". He's right, and I am so gonna do something about it.
Step 1? Stop procrastinating and make up my mind. I'm gonna get my independence back.
Norah Jones tickets are on sale. $77 is the cheapest. Man. I wanna go so badly, but I'm not sure if it's worth it. Am waiting for Justin to confirm if he's leaving the country.Justin and I are gonna form a photojournalist team in 5 years' time. Haha! Idealism idealism.
Faggy's really encouraging about S.T.U.M.P.E.D. You know, I'm nervous about the event. Not sure how it'll go, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Final preparations tomorrow.
I'm blessed. Cat, Faggy, SOS, Brian, Marc, Jane, Justin, Jemo, My Bitch, JH, Mich...
When I've got friends like these, I've got the world. :)
I can't believe I'm still awake right now. I gotta be up in 5 hours' time. Night world.
Bic Runga - Sway
Don't stray, don't ever go away
I should be much too smart for this
You know it gets the better of me
Sometimes, when you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you, pull me out in time
Don't let me drown, let me down
I say it's all because of you
And here I go, losing my control
I'm practising your name so I can say it to your face
It doesn't seem right, to look you in the eye
Let all the things you mean to me
Come tumbling out my mouth
Indeed it's time to tell you whyI say it's infintely true
Say you'll stay, don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way, yeah I need to know
All about you
And there's no cure, and no way to be sure
Why everything's turned inside out
Instilling so much doubt
It makes me so tired - I feel so uninspired
My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart
And now it all turns sour
Come sweeten every afternoon
Say you'll stay, don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way, yeah I need to know
All about you
It's all because of you
It's all because of you
It's all because of you
That is definitely one of my all-time favourite songs. Dig the tune and the lyrics. Yum.
Today was one hell of a sunny day. -grins- My babes (JH & Mich) and I weren't that bad, as compared to the many lobsters we saw walking around town. The good ol' feeling of beaching feels fantastic. And my tanning khaki is finally coming back from San Francisco! Hope she hasn't gotten conned into the whitening fad or anything over there.
I think I'm almost done with my New Year shopping. Almost. Island Shop sale sounds so so so enticing.
Are shoe salespeople especially cute at this time of the year? I was so tickled by the one at Fila, I had to try so hard to control my laughter when sos was trying on his shoes. Lol.
Jemo has finally drilled some sense into me, with a simple, "this sounds so not like the leigh I know". He's right, and I am so gonna do something about it.
Step 1? Stop procrastinating and make up my mind. I'm gonna get my independence back.
Norah Jones tickets are on sale. $77 is the cheapest. Man. I wanna go so badly, but I'm not sure if it's worth it. Am waiting for Justin to confirm if he's leaving the country.Justin and I are gonna form a photojournalist team in 5 years' time. Haha! Idealism idealism.
Faggy's really encouraging about S.T.U.M.P.E.D. You know, I'm nervous about the event. Not sure how it'll go, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Final preparations tomorrow.
I'm blessed. Cat, Faggy, SOS, Brian, Marc, Jane, Justin, Jemo, My Bitch, JH, Mich...
When I've got friends like these, I've got the world. :)
I can't believe I'm still awake right now. I gotta be up in 5 hours' time. Night world.
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Holding on to the Titanic
Holding On To The Titanic?
"Babe, if you're tired, really tired. Let go.
Holding on is like holding on to a corpse.
Think Titanic."
Wise words from Jazzy baby.
Can't I ever bend the rules - to have my cake, and eat it?
I prolly exasperated Cat and Fagan, trying to convince them I could.
Steady babe. For once, time ain't on my side.
Babe's sleepy, and very very confused.
"Babe, if you're tired, really tired. Let go.
Holding on is like holding on to a corpse.
Think Titanic."
Wise words from Jazzy baby.
Can't I ever bend the rules - to have my cake, and eat it?
I prolly exasperated Cat and Fagan, trying to convince them I could.
Steady babe. For once, time ain't on my side.
Babe's sleepy, and very very confused.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Blogging's my Ecstasy.
Blogging is my Ecstasy: Afternoon Melodies
I think my title's pretty original - I like it. :)
I'm seized by this sudden urge to listen to beach-inspired music. Spinning Drive by Ziggy Marley from 50 First Dates now. Kokomo by the Beach Boys' next on my list.
Temptation came in the form of Marc, Brian, Fagan, Michelle (Yr 3) and the idea of finally visiting Brown Box. Succumbed in the end. (Duh? Brownies!)
*Jason Wade's rendition of You Belong To Me never fails to curl my toes. Lol. It's got some sorta old world charm that makes me think of the movie Pearl Harbour.
Anyway, it was a wonderful afternoon, despite the fact that the brownies weren't as fantastic as Marc had raved, and the fact we didn't get much (if any) studying done. Had a proper conversation with Fagan after 981235 years, and it was great. We just had so much to share.
As we sat at the coffeeshop eating chicken rice with the early evening wind blowing into our faces, everything seemed so familiar, yet so new. It felt as if we were transported back to our Year 1 days, where we used to confide in each other all the time; yet at the same time, we felt older, and different. We both agreed that we've grown up and changed, like all the others in our gang; but one thing that I realised hasn't changed is our friendship and ability to pick up where we left off. And I am thankful for that. :)
I'm pretty tickled by the guys training for the soccer match. It's cute. Haha. And yes, I am done with Accounts, or so I'd like to believe. My brain's saturated.
I'm gonna ignore the Pringles on the table and head to bed. Night world.
I think my title's pretty original - I like it. :)
I'm seized by this sudden urge to listen to beach-inspired music. Spinning Drive by Ziggy Marley from 50 First Dates now. Kokomo by the Beach Boys' next on my list.
Temptation came in the form of Marc, Brian, Fagan, Michelle (Yr 3) and the idea of finally visiting Brown Box. Succumbed in the end. (Duh? Brownies!)
*Jason Wade's rendition of You Belong To Me never fails to curl my toes. Lol. It's got some sorta old world charm that makes me think of the movie Pearl Harbour.
Anyway, it was a wonderful afternoon, despite the fact that the brownies weren't as fantastic as Marc had raved, and the fact we didn't get much (if any) studying done. Had a proper conversation with Fagan after 981235 years, and it was great. We just had so much to share.
As we sat at the coffeeshop eating chicken rice with the early evening wind blowing into our faces, everything seemed so familiar, yet so new. It felt as if we were transported back to our Year 1 days, where we used to confide in each other all the time; yet at the same time, we felt older, and different. We both agreed that we've grown up and changed, like all the others in our gang; but one thing that I realised hasn't changed is our friendship and ability to pick up where we left off. And I am thankful for that. :)
I'm pretty tickled by the guys training for the soccer match. It's cute. Haha. And yes, I am done with Accounts, or so I'd like to believe. My brain's saturated.
I'm gonna ignore the Pringles on the table and head to bed. Night world.
Obsessive Compulsive Blogging
Obsessive Compulsive Blogging
I have decided to compile a list of the things I have to do within the two weeks.
Seven minutes. Why am I acting like a kindergarten kid who hates school?
Because I ain't prepared for the paper. Shh.
I have decided to compile a list of the things I have to do within the two weeks.
- Settle S.T.U.M.P.E.D stuff (Clues; prizes; duty allocation etc. etc.)
- Get my MEIT group back on track. (My head has been in the clouds when it comes to MEIT. What kinda of a leader am I?! I will dedicate 3 full hours to research before setting a meeting date.)
- Talk to Ms. Tan about SIP? (Still deciding.)
- Cover letter
- Resume
- Application & Rejection letters
- Open-house meeting
- T&T Singapore itinerary
- Revise the role of a waitress for Saffron theme week.
Seven minutes. Why am I acting like a kindergarten kid who hates school?
Because I ain't prepared for the paper. Shh.
Wrong way babe
Wrong Way Babe
Yup. That twisting in my gut. That old familiar twisting.
Why did I brace myself, just to weaken my resolution and allow your recurring blows to my soul?
I obviously haven't been in denial long enough to know that some things will never change.
I never learn do I.
Wrong turn last night babe.
Yup. That twisting in my gut. That old familiar twisting.
Why did I brace myself, just to weaken my resolution and allow your recurring blows to my soul?
I obviously haven't been in denial long enough to know that some things will never change.
I never learn do I.
Wrong turn last night babe.
The seed of Chucky
The Seed Of Chucky
The movie was hilarious, in a scary-funny sorta way. The f-word was used so often I started laughing each time Chucky said it. And if you aren't too freaked out by the gore, you'll prolly find the way they kill stupidly corny. Intestines a heap on the floor and a flying head? Lol. Not a show I'll pay to watch again, but not as bad as I had expected a Chucky sequel to be. I have never been, and never will be, a fan.
I tried blow-drying my hair for a sexy I-don't-give-a-damn look. Freaked myself out when I visited the restroom before the show started. Ended up pulling it into a ponytail. Lol.
Wondering what I'm doing catching a movie a day before my POM papers? Beats me.
I don't know if I made the right choice today, but I'm not gonna beat myself up over it. I'm just gonna enjoy the ride.
Now I am really pissed. Should have just stuck with station marshals. Or we should have just invented a game that doesn't require marshals. Whatever happened to COMMITMENT? Or plain ol' RESPONSIBILITY?
The movie was hilarious, in a scary-funny sorta way. The f-word was used so often I started laughing each time Chucky said it. And if you aren't too freaked out by the gore, you'll prolly find the way they kill stupidly corny. Intestines a heap on the floor and a flying head? Lol. Not a show I'll pay to watch again, but not as bad as I had expected a Chucky sequel to be. I have never been, and never will be, a fan.
I tried blow-drying my hair for a sexy I-don't-give-a-damn look. Freaked myself out when I visited the restroom before the show started. Ended up pulling it into a ponytail. Lol.
Wondering what I'm doing catching a movie a day before my POM papers? Beats me.
I don't know if I made the right choice today, but I'm not gonna beat myself up over it. I'm just gonna enjoy the ride.
Now I am really pissed. Should have just stuck with station marshals. Or we should have just invented a game that doesn't require marshals. Whatever happened to COMMITMENT? Or plain ol' RESPONSIBILITY?
Monday, January 17, 2005
Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough
Patty Smyth - Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough
I don't wanna lose you,
But I don't wanna use you
Just to have somebody by my side.
And I don't wanna hate you
I don't wanna take you
But I don't wanna be the one to cry.
And I don't really matter
To anyone, anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
And I keep seeing you walk through that door.
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough.
Now I could never change you
I don't wanna blame you
Baby you don't have to take the fall.
Yes I may have hurt you
But I did not desert you
Maybe I just want to have it all.
It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking something's gonna change.
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough.
And there's no way home
When it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
Do you feel me beside you in your bed?
There beside you where I used to lay.
And there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough.
It's uncanny how, when you can't put your emotions into words, there'll always be a song out there that expresses exactly how you feel.
*Thanks Jazzy.
I don't wanna lose you,
But I don't wanna use you
Just to have somebody by my side.
And I don't wanna hate you
I don't wanna take you
But I don't wanna be the one to cry.
And I don't really matter
To anyone, anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
And I keep seeing you walk through that door.
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough.
Now I could never change you
I don't wanna blame you
Baby you don't have to take the fall.
Yes I may have hurt you
But I did not desert you
Maybe I just want to have it all.
It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking something's gonna change.
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough.
And there's no way home
When it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
Do you feel me beside you in your bed?
There beside you where I used to lay.
And there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough.
It's uncanny how, when you can't put your emotions into words, there'll always be a song out there that expresses exactly how you feel.
*Thanks Jazzy.
Sunny days gone by
Sunny Days Gone By
The title tells all. It's all rain and no sunshine. Not that the weather matters that much; my studies are at stake, lol.
I feel like I ought to be panicking considering that I am not done with POM and I haven't touched Accounts, but I am not. Haha.
Listening to this extremely noisy live version of Jack Johnson's Flake. Yucks. Switched to Brian McKnight's My Kinda Girl. Getting hooked on it recently.
"And you're the kind of girl I think of, and you're the kind of girl I dream about, my heart is telling me I need you in my world. 'Cos you're my kind of lady, you're my kind of girl."
I've just related my extremely bimbotic experience on Saturday to Jazzy, and she's giving me a crash course on flags right now. Haha, this is so NOT related to POM or Accounts.
The Beach Boys' Kokomo is starting to grow on me. Aruba, Jamaica... Exotica mama.
My resolution's weakening.
The title tells all. It's all rain and no sunshine. Not that the weather matters that much; my studies are at stake, lol.
I feel like I ought to be panicking considering that I am not done with POM and I haven't touched Accounts, but I am not. Haha.
Listening to this extremely noisy live version of Jack Johnson's Flake. Yucks. Switched to Brian McKnight's My Kinda Girl. Getting hooked on it recently.
"And you're the kind of girl I think of, and you're the kind of girl I dream about, my heart is telling me I need you in my world. 'Cos you're my kind of lady, you're my kind of girl."
I've just related my extremely bimbotic experience on Saturday to Jazzy, and she's giving me a crash course on flags right now. Haha, this is so NOT related to POM or Accounts.
The Beach Boys' Kokomo is starting to grow on me. Aruba, Jamaica... Exotica mama.
My resolution's weakening.
Fanana and her feet
Shoes shoes shoes
While trying on my Reebok Classic - Princess at Stadium at Takashimaya.
Starring me, and the beng-ish salesboy.
Boy: Here's a size 7.5.
*I try them on*
Me: The right side's okay, but the left side's kinda loose. How?
Boy: Well, you can't expect your right foot to grow smaller right?
*I collapse in laughter*
It prolly sounds lame when you read it, but trust me, that moment was classic.
I'm beat. 7.5 hours of non-stop walking around Orchard has my feet screaming in agony. They're craving for a foot reflexology which, judging by the current state of my bank account, I cannot afford.
The effect of retail therapy is impossible to describe in words.
The plus: I've gained three pairs of shoes.
The minus: My bank account's nearing zero.
My newly acquired assets:
-resort top
-Antonio Club green sandals
-Reebok Classic - Princess
-painted shoes from Minou
-2 intimates :X
-Canterbury rugby shorts
What's left?
-Fossil watch
-Suitable bottoms
-Bag
-Earrings
-Undies
Round 2 soon! Had tons of fun with Fanana. Lol. I'm not even gonna try explaining how we came up with that name.
While trying on my Reebok Classic - Princess at Stadium at Takashimaya.
Starring me, and the beng-ish salesboy.
Boy: Here's a size 7.5.
*I try them on*
Me: The right side's okay, but the left side's kinda loose. How?
Boy: Well, you can't expect your right foot to grow smaller right?
*I collapse in laughter*
It prolly sounds lame when you read it, but trust me, that moment was classic.
I'm beat. 7.5 hours of non-stop walking around Orchard has my feet screaming in agony. They're craving for a foot reflexology which, judging by the current state of my bank account, I cannot afford.
The effect of retail therapy is impossible to describe in words.
The plus: I've gained three pairs of shoes.
The minus: My bank account's nearing zero.
My newly acquired assets:
-resort top
-Antonio Club green sandals
-Reebok Classic - Princess
-painted shoes from Minou
-2 intimates :X
-Canterbury rugby shorts
What's left?
-Fossil watch
-Suitable bottoms
-Bag
-Earrings
-Undies
Round 2 soon! Had tons of fun with Fanana. Lol. I'm not even gonna try explaining how we came up with that name.
Sunday, January 16, 2005
Comes The Dawn
Comes The Dawn
After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up high
and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman
and not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in the middle of flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure,
that you really are strong,
and you really do have worth.
And you learn and you learn
with every good-bye you learn.
1971; Veronica A. Shorffstall
I fell in love with this poem the minute I read it. At certain crossroads in my life, and more than ever, I feel like I can relate to the words in bold.
For a moment, when this particular scene appeared on screen, I thought of you, and what I bet you'd say if you were with me.
But that flash of longing soon faded to a dull throb in my heart, and I no longer wish you were here with me.
Because I'm not sure if I can be nice; and I'm not sure if I can bring a smile to your face the entire evening.
And I stopped checking my handphone for a message that I knew would not come.
"When You Say Nothing At All" is playing in the background. The lyrics that used to make so much sense seem alien now. I can't deny the thoughts racing through my mind. Endless possibles; infinite what-ifs. Self-denial just isn't acceptable anymore. I'm finally seeing what I've refused to accept - trying ten times harder won't bring us back to what we were, or bring back what we had.
After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up high
and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman
and not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in the middle of flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure,
that you really are strong,
and you really do have worth.
And you learn and you learn
with every good-bye you learn.
1971; Veronica A. Shorffstall
I fell in love with this poem the minute I read it. At certain crossroads in my life, and more than ever, I feel like I can relate to the words in bold.
For a moment, when this particular scene appeared on screen, I thought of you, and what I bet you'd say if you were with me.
But that flash of longing soon faded to a dull throb in my heart, and I no longer wish you were here with me.
Because I'm not sure if I can be nice; and I'm not sure if I can bring a smile to your face the entire evening.
And I stopped checking my handphone for a message that I knew would not come.
"When You Say Nothing At All" is playing in the background. The lyrics that used to make so much sense seem alien now. I can't deny the thoughts racing through my mind. Endless possibles; infinite what-ifs. Self-denial just isn't acceptable anymore. I'm finally seeing what I've refused to accept - trying ten times harder won't bring us back to what we were, or bring back what we had.
Saturday Evening - Back To The Past
Saturday Evening - Back To The Past
Boy, it's been an enriching evening. Caught a movie; stepped into a Polo Ralph Lauren (did I get the pompous name right?) boutique for the first time; explored the Esplanade library; checked out The Arts House; discovered a hidden street; and listened to a running history commentary by Justin. Let's start.
Alfie was mediocre - like Justin said, it'd prolly have been normal if the hot hot hot Jude Law wasn't starring. I don't look 18 do I? I had to have my IC checked before I was allowed entry to the cinema. Haha.
Did a little shoe shopping after that. I've got my eyes on Reebok Classic Princess; this pair of cream coloured Puma trainers; as well as a pair of grey-striped Adidas. Will prolly make my choice when I'm out tomorrow.
Passed by the Ralph Lauren boutique on our way to the Esplanade, and I commented that I haven't been inside one. So with Justin leading the way, we went in, walked around ONE shelf, and headed out, all in about 10 seconds? Lol.
My exploration of the Esplanade library today has given me second thoughts about putting off paying my library fine. The collection of videos/vcds/dvds is extensive and I can't wait to start borrowing them. It's impossible right now though, considering that I've yet to pay off the fine I incurred in Primary 5, and I believe it amounts to $17.51, if I remember correctly. I am a bad citizen. Oh well, better now than never.
Headed to The Arts House with the intention of checking out the live band at Stage Door Cafe or something, but we were lured by a photo exhibition, starring a soft-toy zebra and a soft-toy elephant. The captions were hilarious. Would have taken pictures if there weren't security guards around, but trust me, it is worth checking out. Very localised; very nice.
Do you know they've got a screening studio over at The Arts House as well? There was this huge black thingy that said Box Office, but we couldn't find the entrance or any movie listings. The Barang Barang lookalike giftshop over there had the most wonderful Peranakan trinkets, but at cut-throat prices.
Subconsciously explored the rest of the area with our aimless walking, till we chanced upon a street we never knew existed. Singapore isn't that boring actually, if you make the effort to explore that is. You never know what treasures you might find at the nooks and crannies. Dinner was at one of the kopitiams, and when I made some bimbotically stupid comments I am so not proud of on our way back, the geography/history lesson started.
Not bad lah Justin, now I know how to identify The Supreme Court; The Parliament House (new and old); Victoria Concert Hall; and the British thingy flag you were talking about. Lol.
I can't believe I am admitting that I do not know how to identify these places on the world wide web.
And that's all for my enriching Saturday evening. Off for a little mugging for the term tests. Night world.
Boy, it's been an enriching evening. Caught a movie; stepped into a Polo Ralph Lauren (did I get the pompous name right?) boutique for the first time; explored the Esplanade library; checked out The Arts House; discovered a hidden street; and listened to a running history commentary by Justin. Let's start.
Alfie was mediocre - like Justin said, it'd prolly have been normal if the hot hot hot Jude Law wasn't starring. I don't look 18 do I? I had to have my IC checked before I was allowed entry to the cinema. Haha.
Did a little shoe shopping after that. I've got my eyes on Reebok Classic Princess; this pair of cream coloured Puma trainers; as well as a pair of grey-striped Adidas. Will prolly make my choice when I'm out tomorrow.
Passed by the Ralph Lauren boutique on our way to the Esplanade, and I commented that I haven't been inside one. So with Justin leading the way, we went in, walked around ONE shelf, and headed out, all in about 10 seconds? Lol.
My exploration of the Esplanade library today has given me second thoughts about putting off paying my library fine. The collection of videos/vcds/dvds is extensive and I can't wait to start borrowing them. It's impossible right now though, considering that I've yet to pay off the fine I incurred in Primary 5, and I believe it amounts to $17.51, if I remember correctly. I am a bad citizen. Oh well, better now than never.
Headed to The Arts House with the intention of checking out the live band at Stage Door Cafe or something, but we were lured by a photo exhibition, starring a soft-toy zebra and a soft-toy elephant. The captions were hilarious. Would have taken pictures if there weren't security guards around, but trust me, it is worth checking out. Very localised; very nice.
Do you know they've got a screening studio over at The Arts House as well? There was this huge black thingy that said Box Office, but we couldn't find the entrance or any movie listings. The Barang Barang lookalike giftshop over there had the most wonderful Peranakan trinkets, but at cut-throat prices.
Subconsciously explored the rest of the area with our aimless walking, till we chanced upon a street we never knew existed. Singapore isn't that boring actually, if you make the effort to explore that is. You never know what treasures you might find at the nooks and crannies. Dinner was at one of the kopitiams, and when I made some bimbotically stupid comments I am so not proud of on our way back, the geography/history lesson started.
Not bad lah Justin, now I know how to identify The Supreme Court; The Parliament House (new and old); Victoria Concert Hall; and the British thingy flag you were talking about. Lol.
I can't believe I am admitting that I do not know how to identify these places on the world wide web.
And that's all for my enriching Saturday evening. Off for a little mugging for the term tests. Night world.
Saturday, January 15, 2005
The Girl From Ipanema
The Girl From Ipanema
Where is Ipanema? That's me, the geography idiot talking. It might be my worse academic choice this semester yet, choosing Travel & Tour Planning as my CDS. It never did cross my mind that there'd be mapwork involved. Add to that an end of semester exam that contributes to 50% of my grades. Dead duck. Haha.
The weather's gorgeous, way drier than it has been in recent months. Puts me in a good mood. Sorta wish JH and I had decided to hit the beach today, but she's got work. Oh well. Wasn't really in the mood to frolick in the sand anyway. Headed down to CH's pool for awhile, but as usual, Mr. Sun loves playing hard to get with me. That flirt. Lol. Was so tempted to take my novel downstairs to read on the grass, in the sun. I'd prolly be the first person to do that in my estate, but decided against it. I've got an image to uphold. Lol.
Slept in till close to 11, and lethargy almost kept me from throwing back the covers and springing awake. I've got tons of responsible stuff waiting for me to do - study for POM and Accounts; dive into MEIT; S.T.U.M.P.E.D preparations; and eh, yup, make my bed. Haha. But it is too beautiful a Saturday to waste being responsible don't you think? So I've decided to do the day justice by blasting jazz music, reading my novel, chatting by the pool and later, catching a movie and maybe an outdoor gig.
Off to the shower, then back to the old wardrobe debate between jeans or drawstring pants.
Where is Ipanema? That's me, the geography idiot talking. It might be my worse academic choice this semester yet, choosing Travel & Tour Planning as my CDS. It never did cross my mind that there'd be mapwork involved. Add to that an end of semester exam that contributes to 50% of my grades. Dead duck. Haha.
The weather's gorgeous, way drier than it has been in recent months. Puts me in a good mood. Sorta wish JH and I had decided to hit the beach today, but she's got work. Oh well. Wasn't really in the mood to frolick in the sand anyway. Headed down to CH's pool for awhile, but as usual, Mr. Sun loves playing hard to get with me. That flirt. Lol. Was so tempted to take my novel downstairs to read on the grass, in the sun. I'd prolly be the first person to do that in my estate, but decided against it. I've got an image to uphold. Lol.
Slept in till close to 11, and lethargy almost kept me from throwing back the covers and springing awake. I've got tons of responsible stuff waiting for me to do - study for POM and Accounts; dive into MEIT; S.T.U.M.P.E.D preparations; and eh, yup, make my bed. Haha. But it is too beautiful a Saturday to waste being responsible don't you think? So I've decided to do the day justice by blasting jazz music, reading my novel, chatting by the pool and later, catching a movie and maybe an outdoor gig.
Off to the shower, then back to the old wardrobe debate between jeans or drawstring pants.
This crazy little thing called love
This Crazy Little Thing Called Love
Love - n. deep affection or fondness for person or thing
What is love? To some, it appears in the most tangible of forms. To others, it is an elusive element they spend their lives in pursuit of.
Just when you think you've closed your fingers around it, it slips through and you're left with a helpless emptiness so great, just like a gaping hole in your gut.
The title of the song's appropriate. Love sure is crazy.
It was quite a realisation, to have two of my closest friends, two whom I haven't really spoken to in awhile, to tell me straight in my face, "You're not happy."
I wanted to argue, but deep down inside, I knew they were right. Don't get me wrong - I do not lead a sad, depressing life. I am generally happy, but I can't ignore the tinge of sadness embedded in the heart of my happiness.
What if I told you that arm on my chair was my momentary antidote? And that tiny tug towards you numbed the sadness with a warm familiarity?
So much has been happening around me recently. I've seen my friends fall; and I've seen them pick themselves up. Is it just me, or are all the fresh smiles from July 2003 looking a little jaded? Maybe each passing year robs us bit by bit of the youthful freshness and fills the emptiness maturity and worldy-jadedness.
Am I oversensitive or do you know something I don't? Are you genuinely happy for me?
Love - n. deep affection or fondness for person or thing
What is love? To some, it appears in the most tangible of forms. To others, it is an elusive element they spend their lives in pursuit of.
Just when you think you've closed your fingers around it, it slips through and you're left with a helpless emptiness so great, just like a gaping hole in your gut.
The title of the song's appropriate. Love sure is crazy.
It was quite a realisation, to have two of my closest friends, two whom I haven't really spoken to in awhile, to tell me straight in my face, "You're not happy."
I wanted to argue, but deep down inside, I knew they were right. Don't get me wrong - I do not lead a sad, depressing life. I am generally happy, but I can't ignore the tinge of sadness embedded in the heart of my happiness.
What if I told you that arm on my chair was my momentary antidote? And that tiny tug towards you numbed the sadness with a warm familiarity?
So much has been happening around me recently. I've seen my friends fall; and I've seen them pick themselves up. Is it just me, or are all the fresh smiles from July 2003 looking a little jaded? Maybe each passing year robs us bit by bit of the youthful freshness and fills the emptiness maturity and worldy-jadedness.
Am I oversensitive or do you know something I don't? Are you genuinely happy for me?
Thursday, January 13, 2005
I've deleted three posts within 24 hours. Cowardice? Maybe.
Words prolly can't describe the elation me, as well as my 3 fellow game-masters felt when the vacancies for S.T.U.M.P.E.D were all filled up within 3 days. An unexpected pleasant surprise.
Finally got around to a proper gym session for the week. Told Marc and Brian that the same time next year, we'd be back in there working out like crazy, trying to pass our napfa. Ah, I wonder how things'd be like when we leave for our SIP. You bet I'll miss the gymming, badminton, swimming, ktv-ing, insane laughter in lectures, hugs... man.
Mr Yeo related his experience during the Student Forum:
Having gotten his university degree with excellent grades, he went for his first job interview at a bank. The interviewer glanced at his grades and said to him, "Well, at least I know you're a thinking person."
How much do grades matter actually? Sure, they get you into good schools and secure you jobs, but at the end of the day, it ain't your grades that get you through work and life as a whole don't you think?
I am a thinking person. So what? This realisation almost makes me want to quit school and live a hippie lifestyle. I'd prolly learn more life skills in a month than I'd ever learn spending a year in school.
MEIT was enjoyable today - not so much the tutorial about exhibitions, but what Mr. Ram told us about press releases, PR managers and journalists. I'm starting to figure out where writing comes into the picture, and liking it quite a bit. :)
Watched When Harry Met Sally after shoe shopping. Was pretty uncomfortable watching it from my PC screen, but we got by haha. Well, it definitely isn't any fluffy chick flick. Sensible, thought-provoking conversations, and a credible plot. Sweet.
Enough with the serious stuff. Gonna indulge in a little Nora Roberts before bed. It's gonna be a loooong day tomorrow. IG meeting; Olympics briefing; S.T.U.M.P.E.D briefing. Hoo-boy.
Looking forward to the weekend though. Lotsa catching up to do. :) And shopping with my crazy bitch's definitely one of the highlights.
Words prolly can't describe the elation me, as well as my 3 fellow game-masters felt when the vacancies for S.T.U.M.P.E.D were all filled up within 3 days. An unexpected pleasant surprise.
Finally got around to a proper gym session for the week. Told Marc and Brian that the same time next year, we'd be back in there working out like crazy, trying to pass our napfa. Ah, I wonder how things'd be like when we leave for our SIP. You bet I'll miss the gymming, badminton, swimming, ktv-ing, insane laughter in lectures, hugs... man.
Mr Yeo related his experience during the Student Forum:
Having gotten his university degree with excellent grades, he went for his first job interview at a bank. The interviewer glanced at his grades and said to him, "Well, at least I know you're a thinking person."
How much do grades matter actually? Sure, they get you into good schools and secure you jobs, but at the end of the day, it ain't your grades that get you through work and life as a whole don't you think?
I am a thinking person. So what? This realisation almost makes me want to quit school and live a hippie lifestyle. I'd prolly learn more life skills in a month than I'd ever learn spending a year in school.
MEIT was enjoyable today - not so much the tutorial about exhibitions, but what Mr. Ram told us about press releases, PR managers and journalists. I'm starting to figure out where writing comes into the picture, and liking it quite a bit. :)
Watched When Harry Met Sally after shoe shopping. Was pretty uncomfortable watching it from my PC screen, but we got by haha. Well, it definitely isn't any fluffy chick flick. Sensible, thought-provoking conversations, and a credible plot. Sweet.
Enough with the serious stuff. Gonna indulge in a little Nora Roberts before bed. It's gonna be a loooong day tomorrow. IG meeting; Olympics briefing; S.T.U.M.P.E.D briefing. Hoo-boy.
Looking forward to the weekend though. Lotsa catching up to do. :) And shopping with my crazy bitch's definitely one of the highlights.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Mango Resort Wear
And can I just mention that Mango's new fashion line is absolutely delicious? I've fallen in love with all the resort styles, and I've got my eye on a $60 top. Hah! Wait, make that two tops. $60 and $35 respectively. :D
Kissing the back of your neck
Kissing the back of your neck?
What is it with guys and a sleek car? Our conversation stalled for 10 seconds, as all seven males present turned to stare at this white sports car going past LJs. Quite a ridiculously funny sight, lol. Can't go rattling into details about the sex-on-wheels though, as I am a total car bimbo.
I read in Thirty Nothing that kissing the back of someone's neck is the ultimate symbolism of intimacy. I don't regret forking out the full $20.48 for the book, after months of procrastinating and attempting to get it at cheaper prices during book fairs. It's been awhile since any book has evoked that achey feeling of sweetness in me. What better story than one about best friends in love eh? My ultimate fantasy. :)
Speaking of which, I recently bought When Harry Met Sally. Have yet to watch the vcd, but will prolly do it after the term-tests. Another best friends in love tale, heh.
On a more platonic note, I am indeed very lucky. I've had so many people to fall back on when I was going through a rough patch. Many of these were close friends, but there were certain angels in disguise whom I never counted on to be there. All the hugs really warmed my heart. :)
Attended the Business School Student Forum today. Was quite a drag if you ask me - the topics weren't really of interest to me. Maybe I'm just a fluffy airhead who doesn't care much about politics and stuff eh?
I'm giving my SIP serious thought. Still thinking...
What is it with guys and a sleek car? Our conversation stalled for 10 seconds, as all seven males present turned to stare at this white sports car going past LJs. Quite a ridiculously funny sight, lol. Can't go rattling into details about the sex-on-wheels though, as I am a total car bimbo.
I read in Thirty Nothing that kissing the back of someone's neck is the ultimate symbolism of intimacy. I don't regret forking out the full $20.48 for the book, after months of procrastinating and attempting to get it at cheaper prices during book fairs. It's been awhile since any book has evoked that achey feeling of sweetness in me. What better story than one about best friends in love eh? My ultimate fantasy. :)
Speaking of which, I recently bought When Harry Met Sally. Have yet to watch the vcd, but will prolly do it after the term-tests. Another best friends in love tale, heh.
On a more platonic note, I am indeed very lucky. I've had so many people to fall back on when I was going through a rough patch. Many of these were close friends, but there were certain angels in disguise whom I never counted on to be there. All the hugs really warmed my heart. :)
Attended the Business School Student Forum today. Was quite a drag if you ask me - the topics weren't really of interest to me. Maybe I'm just a fluffy airhead who doesn't care much about politics and stuff eh?
I'm giving my SIP serious thought. Still thinking...
Sunday, January 09, 2005
Angeleigh's my alter-ego.
Angeleigh's my alter-ego
At the brink of adulthood, when you're no longer a child yet not quite an adult, you often think you've seen it all. The trial and tribulations of adolescence sure twist us into balls of delusion. First loves; moodswings; cliques... life was suddenly one big mess - a huge difference from the primary school days of Barbie dolls. This awful transition has got me so jaded, I was fooled into believing that I'd experienced the worst. Yet each time I thought I was at the lowest, I was proven wrong.
The childhood days of being so naively determined with regards to what I wanted to become are achingly sweet memories, even if I was changing my mind every other day. A teacher; an air stewardess; a doctor; a hotel manager; a singer... the list is infinite.
It took me months to convince my dad that the poly route was what I really wanted. And I was elated when I started at TP. A new identity; a new environment; new friends... a whole new life. But as the days passed me by, as much as I enjoy the course, I had doubts as to whether I was headed in the right direction. The initial interest I had in Hospitality wore off with each part-time F&B job I took up, and I started realising that perhaps I wasn't cut out for the service industry.
My interests started evolving. Until last year, I was pretty sure I wanted to make it in journalism. But then, the setbacks came. I didn't hear from the organizers of a contest I was confident of winning. An article I wrote which was promised to be published never was. Even doing not as well as I'd expected on some stupid Emode English literacy quiz got me down.
With each setback, my zest for writing waned, and I started questioning my abilities. I started blogging less, and my passion for playing with words diminished.
Despite the jaded attitude, I recently volunteered to come up with the storyboard for my Saffron theme week. Up till the point when I was sitting in front of the computer trying to come up with a poem, I was unsure. I was insecure and my mind was fogged. But when inspiration struck, I rode on its wave, and the fruit of that has reignited my passion.
I can't say I've made up my mind about what I want. And I don't think I'd be able to in a long time. In the past few years, I've tried to create different identities for myself. The self-assured babe. The boho babe. The urban girl. The deep thinker. The social butterfly. I just didn't want to be ordinary me. My dad was incredulous when I told him I'm now "Angeleigh". (I'll go into the story of how I manipulated my name another time.) I hate to admit this, but I was just trying too hard. Truth is, I can't categorize myself into any of the above, 'cos deep inside, I am a little of each, and I've got many parts to myself I've yet to discover.
I've grown quite abit this week, but I am not gonna be deluded to say that I've grown up totally. One never does stop growing till the day he dies doesn't he? I've learnt to accept that I am still finding my way, and to accept the directionless me. I'm learning that it's okay to be unsure of what I want, and to be comfortable in my own skin. And after years of denial and escapism, I am finally comfortable with being "Angelina". It'd be stupid to shed "Angeleigh" away like I'm some kinda snake, but it sure is liberating to embrace the identity I was given but too deluded to embrace. Thus the title - Angeleigh's my alter-ego.
At the brink of adulthood, when you're no longer a child yet not quite an adult, you often think you've seen it all. The trial and tribulations of adolescence sure twist us into balls of delusion. First loves; moodswings; cliques... life was suddenly one big mess - a huge difference from the primary school days of Barbie dolls. This awful transition has got me so jaded, I was fooled into believing that I'd experienced the worst. Yet each time I thought I was at the lowest, I was proven wrong.
The childhood days of being so naively determined with regards to what I wanted to become are achingly sweet memories, even if I was changing my mind every other day. A teacher; an air stewardess; a doctor; a hotel manager; a singer... the list is infinite.
It took me months to convince my dad that the poly route was what I really wanted. And I was elated when I started at TP. A new identity; a new environment; new friends... a whole new life. But as the days passed me by, as much as I enjoy the course, I had doubts as to whether I was headed in the right direction. The initial interest I had in Hospitality wore off with each part-time F&B job I took up, and I started realising that perhaps I wasn't cut out for the service industry.
My interests started evolving. Until last year, I was pretty sure I wanted to make it in journalism. But then, the setbacks came. I didn't hear from the organizers of a contest I was confident of winning. An article I wrote which was promised to be published never was. Even doing not as well as I'd expected on some stupid Emode English literacy quiz got me down.
With each setback, my zest for writing waned, and I started questioning my abilities. I started blogging less, and my passion for playing with words diminished.
Despite the jaded attitude, I recently volunteered to come up with the storyboard for my Saffron theme week. Up till the point when I was sitting in front of the computer trying to come up with a poem, I was unsure. I was insecure and my mind was fogged. But when inspiration struck, I rode on its wave, and the fruit of that has reignited my passion.
I can't say I've made up my mind about what I want. And I don't think I'd be able to in a long time. In the past few years, I've tried to create different identities for myself. The self-assured babe. The boho babe. The urban girl. The deep thinker. The social butterfly. I just didn't want to be ordinary me. My dad was incredulous when I told him I'm now "Angeleigh". (I'll go into the story of how I manipulated my name another time.) I hate to admit this, but I was just trying too hard. Truth is, I can't categorize myself into any of the above, 'cos deep inside, I am a little of each, and I've got many parts to myself I've yet to discover.
I've grown quite abit this week, but I am not gonna be deluded to say that I've grown up totally. One never does stop growing till the day he dies doesn't he? I've learnt to accept that I am still finding my way, and to accept the directionless me. I'm learning that it's okay to be unsure of what I want, and to be comfortable in my own skin. And after years of denial and escapism, I am finally comfortable with being "Angelina". It'd be stupid to shed "Angeleigh" away like I'm some kinda snake, but it sure is liberating to embrace the identity I was given but too deluded to embrace. Thus the title - Angeleigh's my alter-ego.
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