After a good six-month hiatus, Charmain and I are having a proper chat that extends beyond the superficial catch-ups our conversations have become of late. It doesn't seem like it now, but she was actually the first person I called when the reality of my then-breakup sank in. I remember how she rushed over from her hall to mine that Tuesday afternoon, listening patiently as I alternately bawled and sniffled from a cold I was fighting.
Earlier this morning, my mom approached me for a talk, and I verbalised all the internal fears, worries and frustrations I'd kept bottled up for so long.
I know how fortunate I am to be so loved by them. Yet, this same love sometimes leaves me feeling oppressed and restrained. With love comes bonds, and obligations which I can't leave behind.
While I can be rather loose-lipped about issues like gossips and infatuations, I remain fiercely guarded over private matters. Ever since Jason, the last person whom I allowed into such privacy, and broke up; I haven't been compelled to share such thoughts with anyone else. It seems somewhat narcissistic to have to bore another with details so important to you and yet so insignificant to him/her.
Intentional oblivion helped in phases, and I honestly wouldn't have talked about it to anyone at all if Charmain hadn't approached me on msn about something different altogether. The topic soon drifted, and instead of my usual "i'm good and you?" response to "how are you?" questions, I found myself letting it all out. Which was incredibly therapeutic and a huge load off my overworked shoulders.
I hope I was the same to you as you were to me babe. I am your self-appointed yoga guru. Don't seek, and you may just find. Haha!
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