At ease with me.

At ease with me.
Spinning: Kitaro - Island of Life
Feeling: Like who I used to be

Pre-ranting: For those of you who might be vaguely interested (though I seriously doubt it 'cos you're all probably in the "HTM SEM BE GONE" mindset), my article of choice was one on child sex tourism. My "child sex tourism" radar has been on every morning I scan the papers ever since the day I chose that article. Now, I didn't know there was a Singapore activist group, all women to boot, that hopes to raise awareness about child trafficking and prostitution! Their site's not quite up yet, so you might wanna check out www.threezframe.blogspot.com for now.

Ever wondered what a constantly evolving you would like, should your spirit have the power to leave your shell of a body? I'm so in touch with myself these days, it's kinda driving me crazy.

Opportunity cost. The independence I've evolved to possess comes with a price tag - aloofness. I no longer plan my schedule around people, nor do I thrive on the energy of people around me. Instead, there's a serene joy in doing things as to my whim and fancy.

No more disappointment when my workout buddy backs out at the last moment. No more need for unnecessary small talk during workouts. No more scrambling out of bed with just 2 hours of sleep just to keep an appointment. No more committing to something I'd rather not do. While this step out of this vicious cycle of people-pleasing is refreshing, it has to a certain extent, robbed me of my ability to feel and relate to people.

Now don't get me wrong. I haven't morphed into a hermit all of a sudden or something. I've just become more at ease with myself and being alone with myself than I've ever been. And I value this independence.

Jason came by real early yesterday morning and off we went for our run to Mt. Faber and back. Running UP the hill was no darn joke, but it was a good workout. We're both pretty active, but we haven't exactly worked out together. Come to think of it, the last time we actually exercised together was in early 2004. Right. Lol. Working out's been a huge part of my life, and sharing that part with him felt good. The run's on the "share list" we've sorta come up with in our recent quest to keep the passion alive by the way. Very cartoon I know, haha.

Finally caught Undiscovered, and it was sadly as badly cliched as I'd expected it to be. Oh well. They've got a smokin' soundtrack though.

Steve Strait & Jen Crowe - Smart In a Stupid Way

She had eyes like crazy diamonds
And yew and feet of clay
We rolled the windows down as they would go
It was a smoggy day
She looked up and asked me if I ever had a lover that I did not betray
And I turned on the radio and I looked the other way
She said you're smart, but in a stupid way

And this is the price that you pay
For being smart in a stupid way
You stand there staring while you lover walks away
Being smart, in a stupid way

The doors they close like eyelids
The train just pulled away
Sometimes I smell the perfume that she was wearing that day
And I wonder if there's anyone that I'll ever love in any way
Maybe I'll grow up and be good someday
Maybe this pain I feel will go away

And this is the price that you pay
For being smart in a stupid way
You stand there staring while you lover walks away
Being smart, in a stupid way

So why is my heart so hollow
Why are my dreams so shallow
And why don't I ever have anything else to say
And why is my love so far away

And this is the price that you pay
For being smart in a stupid way
You stand there staring while you lover walks away
Being smart, in a stupid way.