Syrius doesn't seem to dim.

Syrius doesn't seem to dim.
music: bonnie mckee - somebody

Erwin and Nuria have had their what-the-hell-am-I-doing-here moments, and now that the sheer incredulity of the education system here has set in, I suppose it is my turn to grapple with this vague turmoil.

What the hell am I doing here? Half the time we have no idea what they are talking about in classes, and the only module I find semi-gratifying is Services Marketing, which throws up terms I vaguely remember from my Hospitality Marketing days.

Everyday feels like an extended holiday, while every other class we have to attend feels like a temporary jail term.

The familiar warmth of my bed I miss in the moments after I awake in the dark, muddled and disoriented from dreams.

Yet, I am saved from drowning in this land of paradoxes by unexpected moments of truth.

Each time I huddle up a little more in my jacket when the cold cuts a little too deep, I am thankful that having lived 21 years in the tropics complaining about the sun, I now finally appreciate the rays of warmth it provides in unrelenting cold. And however satisfying a cup of hot Milo can be on a rainy day in Singapore, it would never come close to the pleasure of sipping hot chai on a cold Indian winter's night.

Each time I laugh out loud, be it during yet another MICA-blasting session with the French at Chhota or while reading an absurd email from Jinli; I am reminded of how little I laugh back in Singapore, and how minuscule the pleasure I drew out from each laugh. Getting stripped down to the basics has taught me the forgotten pleasures of the very basics.

And just yesterday, I stood in the biting breeze with my hands tucked snugly into my pockets, learning to identify the stars in the midnight sky and losing track of time while listening to the legends of Orion.

I'd never reflected and realized how I had actually lived my life around the clock back in Singapore. Here in India, time is something remembered on hindsight.

And it is with almost breathless liberation that I am embracing this timeless culture, for life now is about living in the moment, and not for the next. And each moment lived is one lived in vivacity.



So, what the hell am I doing here?

I'm learning how to live life, the proper way. And frankly, there's nowhere else I'd rather be.