Desired things.

When I was younger, I couldn't wait to grow up. Adulthood seemed to hold so many colourful, exciting things that were out of reach of my tiny grubby hands. Every birthday was a step closer to that bright future (and a reason for me to have my friends over to eat cake and stomp on balloons); every birthday was a chance to dream up a new fairytale. When I was 16, I couldn't wait to be 18. I wanted to be able to drink, drive and party. And when I was 18, I couldn't wait to be 21, to watch R(A) movies, get married on a whim and oh, whatever it is to be a legal adult.

Well, adulthood really isn't quite what a five-year-old me imagined it to be. You see, apart from all the drab realities that come with it, being an adult gives you choice, power and opportunities. Dreams are all they are when you're five – if I wanted to be a teacher, all I had to do was lay out my Barbie dolls and wobble about in my sister's stilettos acting all grown up. My flight stewardess career could wait until tomorrow. Fast forward 20 years, and I am actually able to do something to attain my dream, whatever it now is. But with great power comes great responsibility. No, I kid you not. Knowing that I have the choice and the power to change and shape my life whenever and however I want to scares me, because I desperately want to do the right thing; because I am a slave to calculating opportunity costs. And ironically, power leaves me feeling a little powerless sometimes, too.

Am I having a quarter life crisis? That may explain the restlessness brewing inside me, the growing need to charge journeys, seek clarity and chase the dream, however fluid and murky it currently may be. And I will. Or it would be an awful waste of adulthood, wouldn't it?


Desiderata
Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly,
and listen to others;
even the dull and the ignorant;

they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,

they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain or bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; 

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, 

for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals;

and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love;

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, 

gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,

be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,

whatever you conceive Him to be,

and whatever your labours and aspirations,

in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.