The bigger picture.

The bigger picture.

Last night's supper had all the makings of potential awkwardness. The company was not unimaginable, although once upon a time, I might have imagined sharing milk tea and laughs with him as his sister-in-law. Catching up with and dispensing love advice to the younger brother of your first great love is not the most common of situations, and I admit that I was initially a tad fearful it would stir up the feelings I have worked so hard at boxing away.

My apprehension was unfounded, because it turned out to be like an enjoyable session with an old friend. This great love of mine was sticky because our families intertwined with our courtship, but despite the years gone by since we last broke each other's hearts, I still care very much for the cheeky brothers and the doting mother who always make the effort to stay in touch.

I never called after returning from my travels even though I promised I would when she came to send me off at the airport, and I thought the guilty conscience was the price to pay for making a clean break. There have been a couple of times over the past year when I almost picked up the phone to call the lady who always prepared my favourite char siew dish, but inertia soon set in.

Their family has been through quite a lot in recent months but I never felt it was in my capacity to do anything about it without upsetting the status quo. Last night's supper however has made me realize that while this great love and I have missed the exit way too many times to ever reach our destination, the relationships and friendships I gained along the ride are something to cherish separately.

And that I should have been a bigger and better person a long while ago.