Last dusk of 2011.

Two weeks ago, I settled back into my favourite Keralan hammock after breakfast and I thought hard. What is it that I want to achieve in 2012? To mediate everyday, to listen to my body, to complete 100 hours of yoga, to speak with care... there weren't many resolutions that came to mind after I spent a long time staring at the page and listening to the dancing breeze.

The truth is, I'm not great at making – and keeping – resolutions. I'm not sure if tangibilising a year's worth of abstract "I should do this" notions will actually spur me out of the rut that I settle into ever so comfortably as the next year progresses. Most of us have the freedom to remake our choices and relive our lives anytime. Why then do so many of us wait till the very last moments, right before the turning of a year, to search our souls and ask ourselves what it is that we really want? Do we, and will we, ever know what we want?

For a long time now, I feel like I've been living in waiting. It's almost like the many moments in my life have been orchestrated as a lead up to something, something that will make sense of all the choices I have made and lived by so far. A greater truth, if I may call it that, though not quite in the religious sense of things. Spiritual maybe.

So until the answer to life's great mystery weaves its way around to me, here's to you 2011. And 2012, I really hope the Mayans were wrong. I've got too much living left to do.

Reflecting, sorta.

It wouldn't be quite right to say that 2010 has come and gone without a trace, for it has left quite a trail in its wake. The past year has at times passed by painfully slowly; at others it has whizzed by so quickly my attempts to slow it down are rendered futile. Perhaps it would be fair to say that 2010 was a year of both losses and celebrations - I lost my brother, but I also celebrated my freedom and went on to bag what I think is one of the most awesome jobs in Singapore.

I've lost the yen to self-reflect, break down and scrutinise every aspect in my life. While it is always good to give what you've done or about to do some serious thought, I've realised it is more important to just... live. And that's what I've been doing I guess. There's plenty more I want to see, do, experience, taste (haha), feel and accomplish, and there's a sense of wonder at how 2011 will bring with it more chances to do just that.

So 2010, according to the Chinese zodiac, may not have been such a good year for Tigers like myself. It's indeed been a bumpy ride, and since the Chinese zodiac says that this year's gonna be better... I say bring it on!

Eight days late but better late than never...

Happy 2011 everybody!

I rang in the new year while grocery shopping in a 24-hour supermarket. It was so emblematic of my life and I really wouldn't have it any other way. :)

Festivity exhaustion.

Festivity exhaustion.

What a long weekend of celebrations it's been! Barely rested from our packed Bangkok itinerary, we welcomed 2010 in the movie theatre (stroke of genius on my part, and a tradition I'd like to continue) and an impromptu prata supper. I had to cop out of beaching the next morning as I could crawl out of bed only in time for a quick coffee with Lyn followed by shabu-shabu and Monopoly with the gang.


I've never been a fan of hotpot but man this is good, especially with kurobuta and wagyu.

The monopoly and snacks lasted way past midnight too, and I almost couldn't crawl of bed again the next morning. But I'd rather be sleepy than a fool to miss the beach a second time especially during such temperamental weather, so I dragged my sorry head down for 2010's first suntan with Ran. The sunshine was gorgeous, but we did get our sarongs drenched by an overenthusiastic rolling wave. Nothing like a little sea water to start the year I say, along with a promise to run in 2011's Great Eastern when Ran's back for good. :)



No pictures of a beach still boarded up from the beach countdown, but look what greeted me on my walk home? Almost feels like winter.

And now, off for a quick date before Mom's birthday dinner. Oof.

New Year with Energizer bunnies.

New Year with Energizer bunnies.

Headed out in a bit to town to meet the gang to pick up food and head over to Lyn's for shabu-shabu. How can that couple be this perky despite the late night? Those Energizer bunnies...

Happy New Year everybody!

Looking back on 2009.

Looking back on 2009.


picture from weheartit

The thing about growing older (and no longer growing up) is that the years start to pass a little too quickly, and the passing of time starts to get a little too blurry. It is often with a little jolt that I answer a question about my age, for my memory often gets lodged at 19. Am I already 23 going on 24?

Yet while time hurtles by me, I find myself catching sight of the constants: the people who have found their footing beside me while I whirled through life, along with passions that have endured my fickle youth. Some comfort, some surprise, some are absent.

These are the elements I know I can turn to whenever life threatens to catapult me into craziness. The people who at times know me better than I know myself; the written word I fall back on ever so often to make sense of the world; the insatiable wanderlust. But with age I've come to realize, and accept, that nobody and nothing is really constant, except an accepting me to an ever-changing me. I used to think that the power of 'I' was a self-centered and selfish concept, but I have come to realize that it is actually the most enduring one.

Though it certainly hasn't been that great a year, 2009 has been anything but uneventful. I started the year in a happy bubble, having started an amazing writing internship and re-appreciating being around my family. In the past five months however, watching my brother's painful struggle for life and the sorrow of the people around him has been taxing to say the least, and more than enough impetus to coax me out of that blissful state. 2009 has at certain points been very trying, but it has also brought with it some long-awaited opportunities and lessons on life.

Here's what I learnt in 2009:

• Life and its many elements are transient. At the risk of sounding pseudo Zen-ish, I have learnt to significantly relinquish attachment and possession, and to treat loss with a "it is what it is meant to be" attitude. Some call it denial, but I prefer to term it "life goes on".
  
  
• Opportunities will arise, but it takes work, luck and often a keen eye to recognize and sieze them.
  
  
• Some feelings will possibly never cease. Bolting the doors is a conscious decision made by the mind and will, not a testing game of patience.
  
  
• I am no longer the baby girl and instead at times, now the acting head of the family. From being the protected one, I am now the protective one who at times has to play devil's advocate for the interests of my loved ones. It's a little easier now that my sis is in town, but it is a reality that I am starting to take on the responsibilities of my family's well-being.
  
  
• It is not always wise to wear my heart on my sleeve. Privacy, especially in the age of social media, is underrated.
  

And of course, 2009 has also reiterated several previous beliefs:

• Compartmentalization is key. The world doesn't stop spinning for anyone or anything. Grieving is best done in contained pockets. Life goes on, and it is still beautiful despite the smudges.
  
  
• Curiosity is vital for both professional and personal growth.
  
  
• Traveling and writing is the best way to get to an everchanging self I sometimes feel I cannot keep up with.
  

I've spent the past four years in university waiting impatiently for something, perhaps life, to happen. Now that I'm barely five months from graduation, a mix of anticipation and hesitation bubbles in my stomach. Can my passion be my livelihood? Which passion should I pursue? The wait is coming to an end and unlike the hopes and daydreams easily changeable with a flick of the mind, reality brings with it choices and possibly sacrifices.

Some I will make right now, when I am equal parts green and jaded; having seen enough to make conscious decisions yet not having seen much at all to still hunger for more. Others I hope I will make with greater wisdom and a stronger sense of self.

So Happy New Year in advance dear readers. May 2010 bring you lots of joy, laughter and the wisdom to enjoy it all.

366 days later.

366 days later.

Yet another year has passed us by. Perhaps there is some truth in the saying that life fast fowards the minute you're past 21.


It really does feel like yesterday that I was waking up to India's freezing cold and brilliant winter sunshine. Those red brick walls and languid days of chai and butter toast don't seem that far away.


The elusive fireworks of yesteryear.

Looking back on 2008, all I can seem to think of is how long my hair was!

New year resolutions almost always never get fulfilled, but I think the dawn of a new year acts as a psychological impetus to convince us to break out of old habits and try just that little bit harder.

So while the first day of 2009 is still working its motivating magic, here's what I'm gonna try to do this year:

1. Be more religious about sunblock
2. Lose 3kg, or at least not gain any while on internship
3. Keep practising yoga
4. Keep traveling
5. Live, love and laugh more

Sounds simple enough?

New year, new country.

New year, new country.



I'd actually intended to write an entry dated 1 Jan, but Kash and I were ambushed at the gym earlier today (haha, no curry belly thank goodness!) and having spent the day out sightseeing, the first day of 2008 is officially over. Nevertheless, it's always better late than never, so here's the lowdown on how we ushered in the new year in Ahmedabad.


Mucking around with my shawl outside our old dilpidated hostel, so Erwin could get a good shot of it in the sunlight.


Amit and Sumit first took us out to this residential site where Egyptian, Chinese and Roman sculptures were built, for theme ambience, I assume.


First, the Buddha in China...


Then the pharoahs..


and the pyramids of Egypt.


Carvings inside a pyramid.


Village women rushing home to their families.




And that's me running after them for a shot, haha! This picture is hilarious.


Sunset silhouette.


A shot with Amit.


See how close I am to the dog?


MICA's Roxy has cured me of my dog-phobia!


Reflected sunset in the window.


Erwin's constrained smile.


Last up was the Roman district.




And a final sunset shot before we headed out of the village peace and into the crazy Indian traffic.


The streets of India.


A chaotic riot of colors.


The ethnic Gujarati village we went to for our last dinner of 2007.


Where buffets are served on leaf plates by servers.




All vegetarian.




Nuria likes the unflavored lassi. She's the only one who does. Haha.


Kash has adventurous tastebuds and weird concoction tastes.


Not my cup of tea.


Joining in the dancing after dinner.




My constipated/embarrassed face.


Sumit getting his groove on.


The performer/story-teller


Left these people enraptured.

After a scoop of buffalo milk ice cream, we headed back and reached MICA 10 minutes before midnight. Ushering in 2008 was done at Chota - the 24-hour chai tea place on campus. Simple, cozy, and nice. And our first hours of 2008 were spent moving from the old, dilapidated hostel to our current comfortable quarters.

New year, new country, new accomodation. Happy 2008 everybody. :)

Over to you, '07.

Over to you, '07.

The last few days of 2006 passed by in a blur. There was the gathering at Daph's on Friday where we sampled one another's culinary prowess, and the car wash the very next morning. Needless to say, most of us were semi-stoned. My brother came down and left $80 bucks. I was, hmm, touched.



Then there was grocery shopping at Vivocity on Saturday night. (Un)fortunately, the boutiques were opened till 11ish that night, and Michelle whipped me into a frenzy with her fervent clothes-trying. And may I say, Captain Crunch's Peanut Butter Crunch is my new favourite breakfast food?





Barely ten hours after we parted after our shopping trip, I met up with bitch again for a morning swim for I thought I wouldn't see her till 2007. She made it down to my place with Vincent in the end, so yep, it was yet another year of counting down with her around.

It was a cosy night with Ceci, CH, Faggy, Ken, Shannon, Bitch and Vince. My Thai spread didn't turn out that great, and my buncha friends didn't let me hear the end of it! (Check out Vincent's grimace in the last shot.) Thank goodness my Mango with Lemongrass Infused Syrup (sounds grand but it isn't really) semi-redeemed me. I hope they don't shun next year's dinner. I'll try harder guys! Lol. I'll test run those recipes first.

2006 has been a year of many changes, some of which have followed me into the new year. While I would have liked to cross over to 2007 all cheery and upset-free, the new found practical me has decided to suppress the superstitions and not place time-related implementations on life. Then again, new year resolutions kinda make us cherish the time we have and make the most out of it. Constructive or stupid? I haven't quite decided.

Till then, it's back to msn, where my bitch is tickling me silly with the weirdest lines.
"Have you tried all the ang ku kuehs in the akk family?"

Here's to 2007 and new beginnings.