Shopping in Orchard on a rainy day almost always makes me feel like it is Christmas. Grey skies, chilly winds, damp ground, and the rustle of shopping bags. And it almost is. Christmas is barely two months away, and so is getting on the flight to India.
Am I being selfish? Will I board the plane feeling like the weight's off my shoulders for the next six months? Can I go off hoping to come home and find that things have miraculously been put to right?
I played my part for awhile, but the daily grind got to me, and I found myself saying one day, "I can't take listening to this anymore." But of course I know that not hearing about it is just a temporary tactic to trick my conscious into thinking that things are working themselves out.
The subconscious is smarter than that.
And the greatest power yields in the subconscious. Acknowledging it, even briefly, fills me with an urge to burrow my head under pillows.
For now, I'll just coast along and work on compartmentalizing the conscious.
A song to share - When I'm Thinking About You by The Sundays.
Over the rooftops a plane in the sky
Beat of a bass drum cars passing me by
Under a bridge dark then back into light
A river of raincoats and a forest of faces
Still for a moment then red into green
Slow shuffling shoes whisper sight unseen
Row upon row of houses return an empty stare
Let me daydream for a little while longer
I hope I’ll never wake
When I’m thinking about you
I hope I’ll never wake
Cos now I’m thinking about you
Two-minute hailstorm then melts into rain
(oh) sing me a rainbow it’s sunny again
Swallows overhead while the traffic snarls below
Could I (could I) keep dreaming for a little while longer
Hope I’ll never wake
When I’m thinking about you
So that you know - I never want to wake
Cos now I’m thinking about you
When you’re searching your soul
When you’re searching for pleasure
How often, pain is all you find
But when you’re coasting along and nobody’s trying too hard
You can turn around and like where you are
When I’m thinking about you
And I close my eyes (dear)
Now I’ll never wake
Why should I stop thinking about you
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