All cried out.

All cried out.
music: jem - stay now

Ever found yourself in a situation where words elude you? Your heart is fisted in your chest and the strongest concoction of emotions keeps an iron-clad hold on it. You wish desperately for the appropriate vocabulary to describe how you are feeling and maybe, just maybe, words will relieve you of that immense pain inside. But when you do try, you end up tripping all over your words, propelling you back not only to square one but two further steps behind.

Whatever words could not express was aptly relieved through tears. Not the whole bawling-hiccups-bawling routine, but a quiet sobbing on my dad's shoulder. He isn't the person I usually turn to when I'm at my most emotional, but at that time, all I wanted was some male logic (and strong shoulders) to set me straight.

Sob fest's over. The numbness in its place is quite a useful anaesthetic. The urge to run away is back. India... Bali... Bora Bora. Anywhere to rediscover myself and shed this claustrophic hole I've dug myself into.

A friend said to me, "Remember, no matter how far you run, how long you live somewhere else, how much someone preaches the road to happiness, you can never outrun yourself." And then he asked me what it is exactly I am running from. "Something intangible," I replied. I didn't quite have an answer to that.